The Seven Realms: Bridges
by Xander Jaws
Summary: As shinobi and wizards explore an alliance with each other, the youth of both worlds form the foundations of this union. But first they have to make peace with each other.
1. Chapter 1

Well, this is the second story in my crossover series. The first is Opening, which shows how the different worlds first come into contact with each other. This one focuses on just two of the six worlds that Opening showcased. I went to a lot of effort to come up with a unique take on the NarutoxHarryPotter crossover, and I think it turned out well. Read and review!

XXXXXXXXXX

Naruto hated the people he was sitting with, and the people he wanted to sit with hated him. The only person at the table who he'd known more than half a day was the person he liked least. And to make it all worse, he couldn't recognize a single dish at this feast.

The day had started off well, even after all the weirdness of the weeks leading up to it. He thought back to when this began, almost a month ago. He had just finished class at the Academy for the day when Iruka-sensei had called on him and eight other students to take them to the Hokage. Everyone had been confused…

XXXXX

"What did I do?" Sakura Haruno moaned. "I've been a good student, haven't I? I didn't break any of the rules like Naruto-baka!"

"Relax, Sakura!" Kiba Inuzuka said. "Maybe it's a good thing, right? We're probably here to get awarded for being such kickass shinobi!"

"Baka, Naruto wouldn't be here if it was that!"

"Sakura-chaan!" Naruto whined. "I'm a great shinobi! If Sasuke-teme can get awarded, so can I!"

"Please, Naruto! You're nowhere near Sasuke-kun's level!" Sakura sneered at him.

"Would you mind keeping quiet?" Shikamaru Nara said. The lazy boy was stretched out over two chairs and still had his eyes closed. "I'm trying to relax before we get dragged in there for who-knows-what."

"Don't be so lazy," Ino Yamanaka chided her friend.

"You're all being so troublesome," he muttered.

"It is true that unnecessary anxiety will decrease our mental faculties and render us less than fully capable of adapting to the situation and handling adversity." Shino Aburame said calmly. Everyone stared cluelessly at the boy.

"He means that if we're too worried, we can't handle what's coming," Shikamaru translated.

"Oh."

Everyone was quiet for another minute, fidgeting nervously - except for Shikamaru and Shino - until Iruka opened the door to the Hokage's office and beckoned them in.

"Are we in trouble?" Sakura blurted out.

"No, no one's in trouble," Iruka assured them. "Come in and we'll explain what's going on."

Except for Naruto, none of them had been in the Hokage's office before. The blond troublemaker strolled right in, grinned brightly at the village's most powerful shinobi, and plopped himself down in a chair.

"Hey old man! What's going on?"

The other students filed in slowly behind him, not saying anything. Half of them still looked like they expected to be scolded for something.

"Hello Naruto," Sarutobi smiled at them. "None of you need be afraid, you're only here because we are offering you a very special opportunity."

"Really? Like super special shinobi training?" Naruto exclaimed eagerly, jumping up out of his chair. "You've come to the right person old man! I'm gonna be the greatest shinobi ever, and then I'm gonna be the Hokage!"

"Naruto," the Hokage held up one hand to halt the eleven-year-old's flow. "It is a special kind of training, but it's very far from what you're imagining."

"Really?" If anything, Naruto was more excited. Special training beyond what he could imagine? It had to be something amazing!

"If you accept, you'll be going to a different kind of school than the Shinobi Academy," Sarutobi explained. "However, in order to hear the details, you will all have to understand that this information is classified as top secret, and must not be shared with anyone outside this room." The gentle smile he'd been wearing slowly vanished as he spoke. The nine students all glanced away from his suddenly piercing stare. "If you do not think yourselves capable of keeping such knowledge secret from your friends and family, you may leave now and no one will think any less of you." He gestured to the door. "If, however, you believe you are able to keep this a secret, you may stay and learn of the opportunity you have been offered."

XXXXX

_I could have walked out the door_, Naruto thought, looking back at that moment. He glanced around the massive dining hall, taking in the amazing surroundings and the very annoying people. _Now I'm stuck here all year!_

XXXXX

None of them took the door, although several of them were hesitant, especially that shy girl Hinata Hyuuga. Once they all agreed that they could keep a secret for the village, Sarutobi smiled down at them all for a moment before launching into an explanation.

"Last year, my former student Jiraiya was experimenting with space-time seals. Impossible as this sounds, he accidentally tore a brief hole between our world and another."

"Whoa! That's awesome!" Naruto exclaimed. There was a brief pause as everyone looked at him, then he asked: "What does that mean?"

Most of his classmates rolled their eyes at the dead last student, while their sensei sighed and the Hokage chuckled lightly.

"That's a bit of a complicated answer," he said. "In the practical sense, what happened was that a man from another world was pulled into ours."

"Cool!"

"It was certainly interesting," Sarutobi agreed. "Jiraiya brought him to see me and we were able to send him back to his world. Since then, we've visited that world and have communicated with a man named Albus Dumbledore. He is-"

"That's a weird name," Naruto interrupted. Sakura smacked him on the back of the head.

"Shut up! Don't be so rude!"

"As I was saying," Sarutobi continued, "He is a wizard, and the head of a school for such people."

"A wizard?" Kiba repeated, surprised.

"Yes. We ran various tests on their magic and our chakra, but it turns out they're different types of power altogether. However, it turns out that it may be possible for young people to develop the ability to wield both chakra and magic. We attempted the procedure with both adults and teenagers, but only the teenagers could integrate the magic into themselves. We have yet to test it with anyone your age, but it stands to reason that you will be able to learn magic."

"Awesome!" Naruto cheered. "So what are we waiting for, old man?! Let's hurry up and get magic already!"

"It's not that simple," the Hokage said, holding up a hand again to stall Naruto. "Becoming able to use magic is one thing, but untrained wizards and witches are virtually useless. Even worse, their power can endanger themselves and others. So, if you wish to participate in this experiment, you will have to spend at least two years in the other world attending Dumbledore's school, Hogwarts."

"Wait, we have to leave the village?" Ino blurted out.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. You'll be able to return during summer, but otherwise you have to stay there. I've seen the place, it's really quite nice."

"But our family won't know where we are, will they?"

"They will be informed that you are undergoing a specialized training outside the village, the details of which are top secret," the Hokage said. "You can send them letters, of course."

"I'll go!" Naruto exclaimed. He didn't have family to stay for anyway, and he would have jumped at any chance to leave the village.

"Me too," Sasuke Uchiha agreed.

"Well if Sasuke-kun's going, then so am I," Sakura declared.

"Same for me!" Ino said.

"I-I'll go," Hinata stammered.

"Sounds cool!" Kiba said.

"I shall join," Shino stated.

"This is gonna be so troublesome," Shikamaru groaned. "But Ino'll never shut up if I stay behind."

"Hey!" Ino snapped.

"I'll go with you Shika," Choji said.

"Great! So we're all in!" Naruto exclaimed.

XXXXX

In all the excitement, he hadn't really thought about the fact that he either disliked or didn't know almost all of them. Even Sakura, who he'd been crushing on since his first day at the Academy, always shunned him to chase after Sasuke. And it seemed there was no getting away from the annoying Uchiha.

XXXXX

Everything went quickly after that first day. All of them had infusions of magical blood, followed by some sort of medical ninjutsu to help their bodies absorb and integrate magic. Naruto took a surprising amount of work compared to the others, and they eventually had to use an anesthetic to put him to sleep for two days while they forced his body to accept the blood.

Once that was done, Iruka took them all to the other world using a large seal array that transported them in a dizzying blur of motion. Most of them had to throw up in the bushes when they slammed to a halt, including Naruto. The next two weeks were like intense school sessions, as the nine of them had to learn all about the new world they would be living in, both the magical and non-magical parts. Once they could all blend in reasonably well as "transfer students from Japan," Iruka pronounced them ready to buy their supplies for school.

"Sensei," Shikamaru spoke up. For once, he didn't sound half-asleep. "What about our shinobi studies? Won't we fall behind if we spend all year studying only magic?"

"That's why I'm here," Iruka said. "I'll be staying with you at Hogwarts, and you'll continue to study shinobi arts under myself. The wizards have agreed to this, so long as we make the effort to teach some of their students ninjutsu."

"I see." Shikamaru sounded unusually thoughtful for once, but after a few seconds he just shrugged and looked ready to take a nap.

"No time for sleep Shikamaru," Iruka said sternly. "We're going to Diagon Alley today. It's where they sell everything you need for school."

"All of us are going?" Shikamaru asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked around the room. Iruka grimaced as he observed the group of shinobi students. Naruto had gotten into another argument with Sasuke, who was being backed up by Sakura and Ino. Kiba kept pestering Shino to try to get some kind of reaction from the stoic boy. Choji was trying to intervene between Kiba and Shino, while also casting worried looks at Naruto and Sasuke, who were coming dangerously close to a fistfight if the events of the last week were any indication. Hinata was too nervous to get actively involved, but she was looking more worried than Choji as she watched Naruto.

"Good point," Iruka conceded. "You, Choji, Kiba, Naruto, and Hinata will come with me. I'll take the other four later."

He quickly broke up the fights and got the five of them ready for the trip to Diagon Alley. Shino showed no reaction when Iruka told Sasuke he was in charge for the time being. The Uchiha boy just nodded calmly while his two fangirls squealed over how responsible he was.

"Alright everyone, remember that the people of this culture are much less accustomed to the… enthusiasm some of you go at life with." Iruka looked pointedly at Naruto, who gave him a huge cheesy grin in response. Iruka sighed. "Just try not to draw too much attention to yourself."

Naruto spent the entire thirty-minute trip to Diagon Alley trying to figure out the best way to prank Iruka-sensei. Sadly, he'd been deprived of most of his ninja tools after he and Sasuke nearly stabbed each other. But he still had some string and wire, and he was sure that a magical marketplace would be the perfect place to cause a little havoc and have some fun.

Then he actually got to the magical marketplace - after the bartender had caught him trying to steal a bottle of amber liquid - and for the first time in his life he was speechless. It wasn't just how amazing the place was, with all the blatantly magical tools and toys for sale, though that was a big part of it. It was also that, for the first time in his life, he could walk into a crowd of people and none of them treated him differently. Growing up in Konoha, he'd always been hated and shunned by the adults of the village for some reason. The kids were no better, despite all the times Naruto had tried to play with them. By now, Naruto had grown so accustomed to everyone treating him like trash that when they _didn't_ it was enough to render him speechless. He noticed the other members of the group giving him odd looks as he just walked calmly alongside them, staring at all the people who would smile at him as he passed. He decided he didn't care what his classmates and his teacher thought. This was the best moment in his life, and he couldn't have been happier when he thought back to his choice to come here. A whole year away from Konoha, with people like this! It was a dream come true.

XXXXX

Naruto wanted to reach back in time and smack himself for being so stupidly optimistic. As if something that good would actually happen.

XXXXX

Iruka had taken them to one store after the other, telling the owners that they needed supplies for a first year at Hogwarts. The school was obviously well known, because every store owner was able to immediately get exactly what they needed. Iruka paid for it all with a bag of gold coins. After the first store, he immediately promised Naruto a humiliating punishment should the boy try to steal the bag of money. Naruto gave him a mischievous grin, just to keep his teacher on his toes.

Finally, once they were all hauling a trunk full of school supplies behind themselves, Iruka took them to the wand store. To Naruto's surprise, it was a rather ordinary shop, not showing any inkling of being magical, never mind selling the very thing that made magic possible. They were about to go in when the door opened and a mountain of a man stepped out. All six of them quickly got out of the way, most of them apprehensive. But the giant man just glanced at their luggage and smiled at them through his thick beard.

"Students, eh? I'll be seein' ya at school then." A boy their own age with messy black hair and glasses followed the man out and looked curiously at the shinobi. Naruto grinned brightly at him and the boy seemed to relax slightly. "Come on, Harry," the giant man said, and the two of them left.

"That guy's a teacher?" Kiba asked Iruka once they were out of earshot.

"I don't know. I've only seen two of the school teachers myself," Iruka said. He entered the store, gesturing for the five of them to follow. Naruto took the lead, Kiba right behind him. The other three trailed in more hesitantly.

"Welcome, welcome," the old man behind the counter greeted them. He gave them all a knowing smile. "Ah, I think you are the ones which Dumbledore told me would be here. The… foreigners?" Every one of the shinobi could tell that he knew about them being from another world.

"We're from Japan, Mr. Ollivander" Iruka said.

"Of course," the old man replied. He disappeared amongst shelves stacked full of boxes, and they could hear him rummaging around for a minute before he reappeared. "You there," he pointed at Kiba. "Try this one. Twelve and a half inches long, holly and unicorn hair." He set a long box down on the counter and opened it, revealing a slim wooden wand. Kiba hesitated for a moment, then stepped forward and picked up the wand.

"Is that it?" He asked, looking at it curiously.

"No, wave it around!" Ollivander said sharply. Kiba jumped a little, then swung the wand in a wide arc. With a loud groan, one of the bookshelves began to bend over, tipping forward and spilling boxes everywhere. Ollivander snatched the wand out of Kiba's hand as he drew his own, flicking it in the direction of the bookcase. It righted itself at once and the fallen boxes jumped back to their places. "A different one, then," Ollivander said calmly. He narrowed his eyes at Kiba, scrutinizing the boy closely. The boy fidgeted nervously under his gaze until the old man wheeled around and headed to the back of the shop. They could hear him muttering indistinctly as he searched for something, then he reemerged after a minute with two boxes clutched in his hands. He set them down and offered one for Kiba to try. "Eleven inches, hazel and dragon heartstring."

"Is this one safer?" The boy asked.

"No," Ollivander said. He gestured for Kiba to try it. Kiba swallowed, raised the wand to test it… and Ollivander snatched it out of his hand. "That one's no good. Just had to check." He put it away and took out the other one, made of a darker wood than the last two. "Here. Third time's the charm. Thirteen and a half inches, blackthorn and dragon heartstring."

Kiba raised the wand tentatively, then swung it in a much more restrained motion than before. A wind snapped out from him, ruffling everyone's hair and raising dust.

"Whoa," the young wizard murmured. He seemed more surprised by the result than anyone else in the room.

"Excellent!" Ollivander declared happily. He put both wands back in their boxes and set the good one to the side as he took the other back into storage.

The next half hour passed in a blur for Naruto as he watched Shikamaru and Choji be matched with wands. Choji found the right wand on Ollivander's fifth attempt("Fourteen inches, cypress and unicorn tail hair."), although the chubby boy was still mortified from when his first wand began to disintegrate everyone's clothing. Shikamaru, on the other hand, took much longer to find a suitable wand for. Naruto stopped counting after ten, but he suspected it was nearly twice that before Ollivander finally selected one("Twelve and a quarter inches, beech and phoenix feather.") that caused the lights to grow brighter, throwing all their shadows into sharp relief against the walls.

"Curious," Ollivander murmured. "My second phoenix feather wand to be sold today. These are rare, and do not pick their owners lightly," he told Shikamaru. The boy looked unusually thoughtful for the second time that day.

"Are wands intelligent?" He asked Ollivander seriously.

"Not like we are, but they are more than mere tools. The wand chooses the wizard, never forget that." He put away the wand and set it beside Kiba and Choji's before going to look for the next one.

Hinata was chosen next, and took only a little longer than Choji to find the proper wand. Her seventh attempt ("Thirteen and three quarter inches, larch and unicorn tail hair.") made the whole shop feel warm and sunny the moment she picked it up.

"Now then," Ollivander turned his gaze to Naruto. "I suspect the most difficult has been saved for last." He smiled before beginning his search anew.

"Thirteen inches, apple and dragon heartstring." The window shattered.

"Fourteen inches, willow and unicorn tail hair." The lights exploded.

"Eleven inches, hornbeam and dragon heartstring." A bookcase tore itself apart. "Never done that before," Ollivander remarked.

And so it continued, Ollivander growing excited as the right wand eluded him.

"This one has been here for so long, maybe it's time. Thirteen and a half inches, cherry and unicorn tail hair." The window broke again, this time rather musically. Ollivander just nodded as if he'd expected that, fixed the glass with a wave of his wand, and went back for another wand.

"Fifteen inches, oak and dragon heartstring." A weird moan filled the air, grating on their nerves. Ollivander hurriedly snatched the wand out of Naruto's hand.

"Fifteen inches, aspen and dragon heartstring." The door broke in two horizontally, each half swinging on a single hinge.

"Eleven and a quarter inches, maple and dragon heartstring." The lights again.

"Twelve and three quarter inches, oak and unicorn tail hair." For the third time, the window. Ollivander had the glass shards flying back into place before they hit the ground.

"Fourteen and a half inches, chestnut and dragon heartstring." Nothing happened, because Ollivander took the wand back as soon as Naruto picked it up.

Forty one. Forty one wands had been selected for him to try, one after the other, until he had broken everything in the shop - almost the shop itself at one point - and Ollivander was giddy with the challenge of finding the right wand.

"Here we go. Thirteen and three quarter inches, dogwood and dragon heartstring." He smiled expectantly as Naruto took it. Everyone but Iruka and Hinata were outside now, ever since Kiba got smacked in the head by the falling door. They were both still waiting patiently, and when he glanced over at them with a premature apology all over his face, Hinata smiled encouragingly, though she didn't quite meet his eyes. She was probably wondering what he would break this time. He shrugged, raised the wand, and waved it once.

Light flew from it, bright sparks that danced through the air, changing color and setting off a sound of cheerful bells. Ollivander's face lit up with a grin as Iruka smiled in relief and Hinata gave him a quick applause.

"That took forever," Naruto groaned as Ollivander packed up the wand and Iruka went to pay.

"Oh, I've had worse," Ollivander assured him.

They had spent so much time at the wand shop that the sun was going down when they left. Iruka took them back to the hotel they were staying at and took the other four to Diagon Alley the next day. He held onto all their wands after Naruto and Sasuke nearly burned down the room.

XXXXX

_That was Sasuke's fault_, Naruto reminded himself. _I was innocent._

XXXXX

Finally, it was the day of departure. They made it to the train station without incident, Naruto being too excited to cause trouble. All of them had learned what a train was, but seeing it in person was a different story.

"Who invented these things?" Choji wondered, slightly awed at seeing a mass of steel hurtle down the rails.

"Whoever it was, they were a genius," Shikamaru said.

"As soon as you're done, you have to run into that wall," Iruka interrupted them.

"Sorry, what?" Naruto asked.

"It's a trick wall. People with magic will go through it, apparently. It's how we get to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters."

"9 3/4?" Sasuke repeated.

"That's what I was told," Iruka said. He gestured at the metal wall. Naruto shrugged and went first, pushing his cart full of luggage at a brisk pace. He heard Kiba follow him, the competitive boy not wanting to be left behind. Naruto couldn't help closing his eyes the moment before he should have hit a solid wall. After walking a few more steps without incident, he opened his eyes again to find a completely different scene in front of him.

A crowd of people were milling around the platform, where a bright red train sat. The people were dressed just like the ones in Diagon Alley, with the long robes and cloaks that Naruto was coming to understand were standard wizard clothing. He grinned brightly and headed for the train, looking forward to a repeat of his experience in Diagon Alley. The wizards didn't disappoint; he was once again just an ordinary person there, suffering none of the disgust and contempt that was common back home. Ignoring his classmates, he started looking for an empty compartment. They'd gotten there a bit late - Iruka didn't want them to stand out too much - so it took him a while to find an empty compartment. He tried to shove his luggage up into the rack, but he could barely reach it. Iruka showed up after a minute with the other boys in tow and helped them put all their luggage away. The girls had found their own compartment.

"I'll be up front with the conductor if you need me during the trip," he told them all before leaving.

"This is gonna be so cool!" Naruto exclaimed as the train began to move.

"Calm down, dead last," Sasuke sneered. "This is just a training mission, no need to get all worked up over it like an idiot."

"Just a training mission? We're away from the village for a whole year! We're learning things that no ninja has ever known before!"

"That happens every time someone makes a new technique," the Uchiha pointed out. "Try to let our village keep a little dignity while we're here."

"Don't be so troublesome," Shikamaru said. The lazy boy let his head fall back and went to sleep. Naruto snorted derisively at his lack of energy.

"Getting needlessly worked up will cause you to waste reserves and be less capable at a time where those reserves are necessary," Shino said. Everyone stared at him blankly.

"You're gonna tire yourself out now before we get to anything good," Shikamaru translated, eyes still closed.

"Whatever," Naruto said. "I'll see you all later." He left the compartment, wandering aimlessly down the corridor, glancing in at some of the compartments. It really shouldn't be so surprising, he'd never gotten along great with his classmates. Shikamaru and Choji were tolerable, and Kiba was fun to compete with sometimes, but Shino had always been aloof and Sasuke was just a jerk. Naruto had hated being stuck in the same place with him for the past two weeks.

Glancing in at another compartment, Naruto recognized the black-haired boy he'd seen in Diagon Alley sitting next to a boy with red hair and freckles. He slid the door open quickly.

"Hey!" He greeted them with a smile. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," the boy said. Naruto took a seat next to him.

"I'm Naruto Uzumaki," he introduced himself.

"Ron Weasley," said the redhead.

"I'm Harry Potter."

"Are you foreign?" Ron asked Naruto.

"Yeah, me and my classmates are from Japan."

"Wow, Japan? That's a long way away."

"A really long way," Naruto agreed. "And the trip here wasn't fun."

"Why did you come here?" Harry wondered. "Aren't there schools in Japan?"

"Yeah, but our headmaster met Dumbledore and wanted some of us to see what Hogwarts is like," Naruto repeated their cover story flawlessly. "So do you know anything about the school?"

Ron started telling them stories from his older brothers about school life, and both Naruto and Harry listened happily. Partway through, Naruto noticed that Harry had the same slightly envious expression as he did when Ron brought up another sibling. He guessed that, like himself, Harry didn't have any siblings. Hearing Ron talk about his five big brothers did make him a little jealous. They stopped briefly when a lady came by with a trolley of snacks and Harry bought some of everything. For a while they were engrossed in trying out the unusual treats, like Chocolate Frogs and Every Flavor Beans. Naruto had to spit out one that was ink flavored. Harry had thought it was funny that he knew what ink tasted like.

They were in the middle of admiring Chocolate Frog cards when the door slid open again to reveal a boy with pale blond hair flanked by a pair of much bigger and dumber looking boys.

"So it's true then," the blond boy said. "Everyone's been saying that Harry Potter is on the train."

"People talk about you?" Naruto asked Harry. The new arrivals looked bemused.

"You don't know who he is?"

"I'm from Japan," Naruto explained.

"Well, Mr. Potter here is responsible for the demise of our most infamous Dark Lord," the blond boy said dramatically. Harry looked embarrassed.

"I don't even know how it happened," he muttered. "I was one year old."

"That's cool," Naruto said off-handedly. "Can't compare to the Hokages though."

"The who?"

"Our village heroes," Naruto said proudly. "The Fourth killed a demon to save the whole village." He grinned cockily at the new boy.

"Never heard of them."

"Well I've never heard of Harry or this Dark Lord he beat."

"Then you're an idiot."

"I'm from out of town."

"An out of town idiot, then." He shook his head derisively, an action that reminded Naruto of Sasuke. "I'm Draco Malfoy," he introduced himself, holding his hand out to Harry. "You should be more careful about who you make friends with, Potter. You don't want to associate with the wrong sort."

"I can tell the wrong sort myself, thanks," Harry answered coolly. Malfoy sneered and lowered his hand.

"You'll come around soon enough, Potter." He glanced down the corridor with a frown. "Come on Crabbe, Goyle," he told his friends. The three of them left, the two large boys glaring at Harry, Ron, and Naruto. The shinobi-in-training slid the door shut in their faces.

"Malfoy," Ron muttered, making the word sound like a curse.

"You know him?"

"My dad's mentioned them. They're one of the old pure-blood families so they have a lot of money. Everyone thinks they're great."

"He's just a stuck up jerk. I know a guy just like him," Naruto said.

"Glad the other two didn't try anything though," Harry said. He looked a little nervous and Naruto wondered if he'd been bullied by larger kids before.

"Nah, they're all show. The one on the right wasn't balanced right to be ready for a fight, and the one on the left was too focused on Harry. Neither of them has actual experience with a fight."

"You sound like you do," Harry said.

"Yeah, the Academy teaches us martial arts," Naruto explained, remembering what taijutsu was called in this world.

"Cool," Ron said enthusiastically.

"So hey, what's up with that Dark Lord thing?"

"It's nothing," Harry said. "Like I said, I don't even know how it happened."

"You-Know-Who was terrorizing the country for years," Ron said. "The Ministry could barely slow him down. Then he went to the Potters house and -" he hesitated, glancing at Harry. The other boy nodded and gestured for Ron to continue. "He killed Harry's parents, but when he tried to kill Harry the curse backfired and You-Know-Who died instead."

"What's his name?"

"People don't like to say it," Ron said.

"Voldemort," Harry answered calmly. Ron jumped slightly in his chair, looking surprised.

"Weird name," Naruto said.

"Coming from a guy named Uzoo -" Ron paused, trying to remember Naruto's name, and the blond shinobi laughed.

"Uzumaki," he repeated. "And I guess you have a point."

"Anyway, Malfoy was right when he said that You-Know-Who was the most infamous Dark Wizard in Europe," Ron admitted. "So Harry's a bit of a hero." He dropped the subject when Harry clearly looked awkward.

"Say, back when I met him in Diagon Alley, Malfoy was talking about Hufflepuff and Slytherin," Harry said. "I asked Hagrid about the different Houses, but he just told me that my parents were in Gryffindor and I would probably be there."

"Yeah, Gryffindor is the best House," Ron agreed. "My whole family's been in Gryffindor, it'll be bad if I don't make it in there. Hufflepuff's not too bad, I suppose."

"How do they decide if we make it in a House or not?" Naruto asked.

"There's some Sorting process the first-years go through," Ron explained. "Fred and George have told me so many things that are absolute nonsense, I don't know what the actual Sorting is."

"What are the other Houses?"

"Ravenclaw and Slytherin. All the smart kids go to Ravenclaw -" Naruto immediately thought of Sakura. "And Slytherin is the House that every Dark Witch or Wizard has come from. You-Know-Who was in it."

"Why is it still around if everyone who goes there turns out bad?"

"I mean, I guess not every Slytherin is evil. It's just that all the Dark people are from there." He shrugged. "I might leave if I get put there."

They were distracted by a bossy girl showing up and asking them if they'd seen some other boy's toad. She seemed as smart as Sakura, Naruto thought, but as annoying as Ino. She left after a few minutes, once she'd pointed out some dirt on Ron's face and that they should get dressed in the school uniform soon. Naruto went back to the compartment with his classmates and his luggage to change. No one asked where he'd been, and he didn't bother asking them any questions. The train stopped soon after and he found Harry and Ron as they all got off.

"Firs' years, this way!" A booming voice reached them. The giant man Naruto had seen Harry with earlier came striding toward the crowd, carrying a lantern. Harry headed for him at once, Ron and Naruto following. "Hello, Harry!" the giant said upon seeing them.

"Hey, Hagrid," Harry said, grinning up at the man. Ron looked a little awed by Hagrid's size. Naruto just gave the man his usual toothy grin, which Hagrid responded to with a kind smile.

Once all the first years were gathered there, Hagrid led them down a path to the lake, where a small fleet of boats waited for them. Naruto got in a boat with Harry and Ron, and was a little surprised when Hinata joined them a minute later. He said hello to her - she'd been the nicest to him out of everyone in the group - and introduced her to his new friends. She greeted them all shyly before looking away, watching the water pass by as the boats all drifted automatically across the lake. All of them watched in awe as they rounded a bend and saw the castle they were headed for.

"That's Hogwarts?" Naruto whispered. The other three just nodded dumbly. It only took about ten minutes for the fleet of boats to reach the castle, where they docked in a small underground space. A severe looking old lady who Hagrid called Professor McGonagall showed up and guided them through the castle.

"You will wait here until I return to take you to the Great Hall," she said. "There, you will be Sorted into one of the four Hogwarts Houses." She left them there and chatter broke out at once. Naruto stayed out of it, and Harry and Ron followed his example. A horde of ghosts showed up after a few minutes, startling him. But after everything he'd seen in the last month, ghosts were nothing big. He sighed as even the dead people got involved in a debate about the Houses. Really, was it that important? Who cared what House accepted you?

XXXXX

_If you'd just thought for two seconds_, he berated himself.

XXXXX

He watched as Professor McGonagall went through a long list of students, calling them up to wear the Sorting Hat. Sometimes it took a minute or two for the Hat to decide. Others were instantaneous: It called out "SLYTHERIN!" for Malfoy as soon as it touched his head. It was equally quick to announce "HUFFLEPUFF!" for Hinata. Naruto thought that was good for the shy girl. The Hat's song had made Hufflepuff sound like it had the friendliest students. The Hat took quite a while to decide on a House for Harry, but it eventually declared "GRYFFINDOR!" to which most of the Hall burst into applause.

Almost everyone had been sorted when McGonagall called out "Uchiha, Sasuke!" and Naruto realized it was almost his turn. The Uchiha wore the Hat for only a minute before it called out "SLYTHERIN!" Naruto wasn't surprised, though Ino looked a bit shocked.

"Uzumaki, Naruto!"

Naruto hurried up to the stool and sat down, putting the Sorting Hat on. For a brief moment before it slipped down over his eyes, Naruto realized that everyone in the Hall was staring intently at him. It made sense, he supposed, that the foreigners should be a subject of interest.

"Indeed," the hat mused. "Quite an intriguing group, you shinobi lot."

_What do you mean?_

"Well, disregarding the fact that you're not of this world," the hat began. "You're all very driven for children your age. Even if you're after something silly or pointless, the motivation you have for that goal is astounding."

_Was Shikamaru motivated?_

The Hat laughed.

"In fact, no. But he's undoubtedly the smartest one of you."

_Seriously? He barely does anything in class! Sakura's way smarter than him._

"Sakura has to study and work hard to be as good as she is. Shikamaru doesn't study and barely does any work on tests, but he still passes everything. If he actually wanted to do well, he wouldn't have any competition. But we're getting off topic. You, Naruto, are quite interesting even for your kind."

_Why? 'Cause I don't care which House I go to?_

"Well, I agree that's not normal. And in fact, you suit them all quite well. You're certainly capable of Gryffindor's bravery, or Hufflepuff's loyalty, and you're smarter than you give yourself credit for. And what with all those pranks you pull, there's no doubt you've got Slytherin's cunning. But no, I was referring to something else. Your goal, to become Hokage… it's certainly something you want with all your heart, but I must warn you it could have bad consequences."

_Like what? Having the whole village ignore me? Growing up without family? Only having a single person in two worlds who genuinely cares about me? What would be worse than what I've gone through already?_

"Fair point," the hat conceded. "But don't think that things can't get worse. You could take the path that would get you to your goal quickest, and risk suffering as a result. Or you can take the path that will make you happy, but it might take longer to become Hokage."

_I _have_ to become the Hokage,_ Naruto declared. _Once I do that, the whole village will have to acknowledge me. I won't just be some freak they look down on. I don't care what you tell me will happen, I'll take the House that gets me the Hokage hat quicker._

He figured it was probably Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw that the Hat was talking about. Being in a House full of boringly ordinary people or brainiacs wouldn't be fun, but if it helped him improve quicker than Gryffindor, he was fine with that.

"As you wish," the Hat said, sounding resigned.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Naruto's jaw dropped slightly as the table cheered for him. He numbly took off the Sorting Hat and gave it back to McGonagall, then walked to his new House. Malfoy sneered at him, and Sasuke looked away as Naruto sat next to him. One or two of the older Slytherins greeted him, but that was about it.

XXXXX

_Should have listened to the damn hat_, Naruto sighed. _Too late now, I guess. I'll just have to make the most of this._ After all, living in the same dorm would give him tons of opportunities to prank Sasuke and Malfoy. He might be in this House, but he didn't like it any more than his friends did.

XXXXXXXXXX

This one took forever, and it turned out to be soooo long. I started writing it Monday afternoon then got up early Tuesday to finish it. But even though I glossed over some of the bits, I just kept finding more to write about, and it wound up being one of my longest chapters to date of any story I've written. I might have split it in two, except that I obviously had the end of the chapter in mind, and it wouldn't work if I'd made it two chapters. So, despite finishing it at midnight, I don't mind. This was worth it. I hope you all enjoy, and again, please check out the oneshot preceding this, Opening. Keep in mind this is going to be a long series of fics, so the other universes I show in Opening will turn up again in later stories, not this one. It'll take time before they start to all overlap, but eventually there's going to be some really great stuff. At least I hope there will be. Let me know what you think of this chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Please read and review. I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter.

XXXXXXX

The Potions classroom was silent, now that Snape had finished his lecture. The instructions for a simple Forgetfulness Potion were on the blackboard and they had all been warned about the dangers of brewing it incorrectly. Since none of them wanted to wake up the next day with no memory of the last half week, they were all being very careful.

They were all also keeping an eye on Naruto.

The foreign Slytherin student was cheerily brewing his own potion, humming under his breath, and occasionally shooting covert glances around the room as if to check on something. Every time he looked in a person's direction, that person would tense up.

"Mr. Uzumaki, please refrain yourself from disrupting my class _again_," Snape said.

"Sure thing, Professor," he said, smiling happily. Snape's eyes narrowed, and even the class prankster looked away quickly.

Snape leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and willing himself to remain calm. That brat had managed to cause complete chaos in two Potions lessons so far, and he had started a paper airplane competition in History of Magic class last week. The only reason the teachers weren't lobbying to kick out the entire group of foreigners was that the other kids were good students, or at least they didn't cause trouble the way Naruto did. So instead, the teachers merely requested of Dumbledore that Naruto be expelled. Snape honestly wasn't very surprised when Dumbledore chose to keep Naruto in the school, but he was extremely annoyed by it. The boy seemed to target his own House specifically, though he had no problem with antagonizing the other students. Even that man Iruka was fair game, despite - or maybe because of - his history with the boy.

Snape resumed watching Naruto. He had to admit - if only to himself - that the boy had some talent for Potions. The elaborate traps he rigged must have taught him the value of precision and careful planning. He was usually the first to finish his potion, and Snape could only mark him down for trivial errors; the potion always worked just fine. If it wasn't for his obvious authority issues, he would make a fantastic Slytherin. For that matter, if he didn't target members of his own House, Snape wouldn't have a problem with him.

Uzumaki looked at Neville Longbottom and, the moment the chubby Gryffindor met his gaze, flashed him a wide and toothy grin. Longbottom jumped fiercely and his elbow bumped his cauldron, sloshing most of the contents over the edge. Longbottom, Finnigan, Thomas, and Akimichi all scrambled to get away from the table as the steaming liquid splashed onto the floor and sent up fumes. Snape waved his wand and Vanished the ruined potion. They all looked disappointed, and Thomas threw Longbottom a surly look.

"Start over," Snape ordered them before glaring at Uzumaki. The blond boy was back to working on his own potion, just reaching the point where he would have to wait for nearly an hour. Lord only knew what he could do in that amount of time.

"Idiot," Uchiha muttered. Snape's ears caught it, even though the boy had only meant for Uzumaki to hear. Predictably, the blond boy began glaring at his dark-haired Housemate. No one else, even Malfoy, seemed able to get a rise out of him, but all it took was one word from Uchiha for him to look ready to throw down with his colleague. Snape idly wondered just why they seemed to despise each other so much. He supposed it didn't really matter, as long as it kept Uzumaki distracted from his goal of upsetting the class.

The rest of the class passed in tense silence, only growing stronger when Snape walked around the room to check on their work. He marked down Longbottom and Potter's groups, checked that the Slytherins weren't making mistakes, and then kept an eye on Uzumaki again. Nothing major happened, although Snape was pretty sure he tried to mess up Malfoy and Uchiha's potions. Finally, they finished up and left after giving him vials of their completed potions.

With everyone gone, Snape let himself slump in his chair, the tension leaving him as another lesson with Uzumaki passed. The single bright point was that he only had two years of this to endure. After that, the foreign brats would go back to their world and never bother Hogwarts again. If he'd known what he was getting himself into when he was first teleported to that place, he would never have gotten those shinobi in contact with Dumbledore.

"Too late now. Just deal with it. Potter used to actually hurt other students," he reminded himself. "At least Uzumaki doesn't go that far."

XXXXXXX

"What's his problem, anyway?" Harry asked Kiba. The foreign boy shrugged. His pet dog growled lightly, drawing adoring looks from Padma and Lavender.

"He's always been a troublemaker. Iruka-sensei had him in detention almost every week, and that was just for what he did in class. Hell, one time he managed to set up a catapult that launched cherry bombs into an official meeting between the Hokage and all the clan heads." Seeing their blank looks, he explained. "That's like, the eight most important people in the village. Like the heads of every department in the Ministry of Magic, plus the Minister himself."

"Bloody hell," Ron said. "How did he get away with it? I mean, he must have gotten in trouble, right?"

"No idea," Kiba admitted. "I mean, he was out of school for about a week, but that's it. It didn't even slow him down, he went right back to messing with Iruka-sensei."

"I asked my dad about that," Choji said.

"Yeah, my mom told me not to ask about it," Kiba said.

"Dad only said that the Hokage personally talked to Naruto about it," Choji told them. "That's all."

"Hey, did you notice when we were called to his office, the Hokage and Naruto seem like they know each other?"

"Well if he gets in trouble so much, it's not a big surprise," Ron said.

"The Hokage isn't like Dumbledore," Shikamaru explained as he sat down next to them. "He's not just in charge of the Academy, he runs most of the village's government. He shouldn't have time for one kid, not unless Naruto was causing incidents like the cherry bombs every week. And besides, they were friendly, they smiled at each other and the Hokage wasn't bothered when Naruto called him an old man or interrupted him."

"Whoa." All of them paused for a minute, then turned and stared across the Great Hall at Naruto, who was calmly eating lunch. The other Slytherins had made space around him; ever since Malfoy had been hit with an ink bomb, no one at that table trusted the foreigner.

"Just who is he?" Kiba asked, as if pondering the question for the first time in all five years that he'd known the other boy.

"A very troublesome person," Shikamaru said. "Penelope Clearwater just found a Dungbomb trap that looks like Naruto's handiwork right outside the door. She and a Gryffindor prefect are taking it apart."

"Does he ever rest?" Kiba asked.

"If I were him, I wouldn't close my eyes in the Slytherin common room," Shikamaru said. "Not since he greased the dungeon stairs."

All the Gryffindors chuckled as they remembered the sight of Slytherin first-years repeatedly slipping and falling as they tried to struggle up the stairs. Naruto had thoughtfully removed all of the handrails ahead of time, leaving them with nothing to hold themselves up. Snape had shown up and made the oil disappear since his entire class was there, either failing to climb the stairs or laughing at the people failing to climb the stairs. Then, once they'd reached class, they discovered that Naruto had made use of the distraction to sabotage most of the non-Slytherin students' workspaces.

"Three hours of work, and the enmity of everyone in his own year," Shikamaru summarized. "That's actually pretty impressive."

"That's one way of looking at it," Harry said.

"How long do you think it'll take him to get in serious trouble?" Shikamaru wondered.

"I thought Dumbledore would kick him out after the thing with the stairs!" Ron exclaimed.

"I thought the paper airplane competition would do it," Harry said.

"By this point, I don't think the teachers are going to kick him out. They'd be giving him detention all the time if they could prove all these pranks were him. I'm more worried that a student is going to get fed up with his crap," Shikamaru mused. "Sasuke and Malfoy look ready to toss him in the lake soon. At least he's been smart enough to only mess with people in our year."

"So far," Kiba muttered.

XXXXXXX

There were so many ways the events of that day could have been avoided. If Naruto had chosen a different path after lunch, or if he had just gone outside instead of back to the Slytherin dorms, or if he hadn't crossed paths with Cormac McLaggen and his friends. If any one of dozens of tiny factors had changed, their meeting wouldn't have occurred, and everyone would have just continued on with their lives. As it was, Naruto rounded a corner, saw four older boys wearing Gryffindor colors, and quickly found himself surrounded by them.

"Hey. What up?" He greeted them flippantly. He was automatically shifting his stance to be ready to run, and cursing the long and heavy wizard robes he had to wear. To his dismay, the other boys noticed this and also prepared themselves to move at a moment's notice. Clearly he was not the first person they'd ever been in this situation with.

"'What up?'" Cormac mimicked him. "Listen to you, trying to sound all tough. You think you're so bad, little snake?"

"Actually I think I'm a shining example of kindness," Naruto shot back. "But only to my friends. Too bad you're not one of them."

"As if anyone would ever be friends with you," Cormac sneered. "You're just a gutless little foreign brat who has to hide behind tricks and traps. Even your own House doesn't like you."

Naruto tried to keep his unaffected grin in place, but he felt it slip a little at that last remark. It shouldn't bother him, he had been the one to push away the other Slytherins after their offer of friendship. He didn't like those stuck up bastards any more than the Gryffindors did. But he was better than them, damn it! He didn't deserve to be treated like just another slimy snake.

"You're lower than a snake." Cormac's friends laughed and nodded with him at this. "You're just a worm. A stupid little worm that needs to be taught a lesson."

"I have enough lessons already," Naruto said. "So no thanks."

"It's not optional." The four older and bigger boys moved forward together, surrounding him without leaving any gaps as all four pulled out their wands. Naruto bolted at once, dashing for the space between the two thinnest boys. They spread their arms out to catch him but he ducked under and rolled past them, coming to his feet fluidly and running.

He made it about two steps before one of the boys shouted something and an invisible force yanked at his ankles. His feet jerked to a halt and, physics being what it was, he pitched forward onto his face. An ugly crunch filled the hallway as his nose broke and blood splattered on the floor. Naruto cried out in pain as his eyes teared up reflexively. He pushed himself up to his hands and feet before Cormac grabbed him by the collar of his robes. A hard yank lifted him forcefully off the ground. Cormac slugged him in the gut and Naruto found himself gasping for breath. Some part of his mind remembered taijutsu lessons and realized that he had been hit - by accident or design - in the solar plexus. Iruka-sensei had marked it as one of the best points on the torso to strike.

Unfortunately, Cormac didn't stop there. He threw two more punches, hitting Naruto in the chest and the side of the head. Lights burst before his eyes and he nearly threw up. He couldn't see anything for a few seconds, but he could hear Cormac's ugly laugh.

"Stupid worm. You thought you were better than us? That you could come here and mess with our school?" He dropped the blond boy and kicked him almost carelessly in the head again.

"Dude, you really hurt him," one of the other Gryffindor boys said.

"He deserves it," Cormac dismissed his friend's concerns. "Come on, let's get out of here." Their footsteps receded quickly, leaving Naruto collapsed against the wall.

His vision cleared slowly, giving him a view of the empty hallway. There was only one portrait, and it was empty. No one would have seen what happened. He chuckled dryly as the irony struck him. He'd pushed away all the other students, and now no one was here to help him.

"Big deal," he muttered. He paused to spit out the blood that filled his mouth. "Don't need them. Not one of them."

Sitting there, blood slowly dripping from his broken nose, he remembered the last time he'd tried to make a friend. It had been three years ago, when he was eight. One of the other kids at the Academy, an older boy from the Hyuuga clan, had been nice to him. Naruto was suspicious at first, but eventually Ko had made him believe that he really did want to be friends. Then, during the village's biggest celebration, the anniversary of Kyuubi's defeat, Ko invited him to join the Hyuugas for the festivities. Naruto had shown up in the best clothes he had, only for Ko to laugh and say he'd never invited Naruto.

It was a week before the old man could convince him to leave his apartment and keep going to the Academy.

After that, Naruto didn't try to make friends. He still crushed on Sakura but some part of him knew it was just because he'd always done it. The only hope he had of being accepted by anyone from the village was to become Hokage.

Grimacing, he pushed himself to his feet. His breathing was steady again and the bruises were already fading. He took a deep breath, then pushed his broken nose back into place. An explosion of pain hit him and his eyes filled with tears again. But by the time he'd blinked them away, his nose was back to normal. For some reason, he'd always healed quickly. The old man had been a little vague when Naruto asked him about it, but the boy suspected it was some kind of bloodline limit. He'd often wondered if the villagers disliked him because he was from some dishonored clan.

Pushing those thoughts aside he picked up his bag, which he'd dropped when Cormac tripped him, and continued on his way. The shinobi had their own class in the afternoon, and Iruka had made it clear he wouldn't be allowed to just skip like he did at the Academy sometimes. Scowling heavily, Naruto trekked through the castle.

XXXXXXX

Kiba ducked under a vicious punch, but wasn't quick enough to avoid the kick Naruto threw at him. It connected solidly with his shoulder, knocking him down hard. Iruka-sensei called a halt and the two boys backed off. Kiba rubbed his shoulder with a grimace. Normally he could take Naruto down in spars, but today the blond boy was being unusually fierce. His normal grin was gone, replaced with an angry stare directed at whoever Iruka-sensei matched him up with. Kiba wondered what had happened to him since lunch.

"Maybe he's annoyed that his prank failed," Choji suggested.

"That would not be enough," Shino said. "Why? Because he always has a backup plan, so if one was prevented he would merely go on to the next."

Naruto sat off to the side, away from all the others, while Ino and Hinata sparred. It was an ordinary spar, as neither student was especially good at taijutsu. They were also clearly friendly, both smiling whenever either one scored a point. Being in Hufflepuff, they had been spending a lot of time together in the last month. After five minutes it ended with the score at 5-3 in Ino's favor.

"All right, Naruto and Sasuke," Iruka-sensei declared. They took their stances in the middle of the sparring ring. At the signal, Naruto charged forward, still clearly angry. He closed the distance in a second and threw a punch that Kiba knew he couldn't have dodged without some luck.

Sasuke easily turned aside the vicious blow, pivoting on one foot and yanking Naruto forward so the troublemaker stumbled and tripped over his own feet. Sasuke's foot stomped down between Naruto's shoulder blades, pinning him to the floor.

"Two points for Sasuke," Iruka announced. They took their places again, Naruto's expression even angrier than before. He attacked again once the signal was given, and Sasuke effortlessly countered him for the second time, planting a foot squarely in Naruto's stomach and knocking him clean off his feet. The class gasped as he hit the floor and started gasping for breath. "One point for Sasuke," Iruka said. Naruto got up a little more slowly, glaring at Sasuke. For the first time in all five years that they'd been classmates, Sasuke found himself unnerved by the look in Naruto's eye. It was too cold and vicious for the blond prankster.

Naruto pounced and Sasuke reflexively blocked his punch and threw a counter-strike in the form of an elbow to the face. To his surprise, Naruto ducked it and wound up right in front of Sasuke. The Uchiha boy flinched back, but he didn't have enough time to stop the punch that hit his stomach, driving the air out of his lungs. As he tried to suck in a breath, Naruto followed it up with a punch to the head that knocked him to the floor. The rest of the class gasped in shock again.

"One point for Naruto," Iruka announced.

Sasuke wasn't bothered that Naruto had hit him. He was bothered because now he recognized the look in his classmate's eyes. He'd seen it in the mirror every day for years. Naruto was furious, and he had a lot more on his mind than just winning a simple spar.

The Uchiha went into the fight much more cautiously than he normally was against Naruto, and it paid off. He managed to outfight him twice more and bring his score up to five points without letting Naruto get even one more. But the experience was disturbing to say the least. The idiot prankster shouldn't have that kind of expression.

XXXXXXX

Naruto went back to his dorm room that night. He didn't sleep there every night, not since that boy Nott had painted his face in revenge for the greased stairs. He'd instead taken to wandering around the castle, finding a comfortable alcove to curl up in until the sun rose. Occasionally he would come close to being caught by that man Filch, but he always managed to get away without being spotted. Tonight, however, he wanted to grab some new clothes and a quick shower, so he finished dinner early to go back to the room before anyone else returned.

When he left the bathroom, he was unpleasantly surprised to see four of his five roommates standing there. Crabbe and Goyle, as usual, stood behind and to either side of Malfoy. Sasuke stood apart from the other three, but he and Malfoy were positioned on either side of the door, making it clear that they wouldn't let Naruto leave.

"What's the matter, Sasuke-teme? Upset that I messed up your face?"

Sasuke's hand twitched upwards to the large bruise that Naruto's punch had left, but he lowered it stiffly.

"Your friend's worried about you," Malfoy drawled.

"I don't know who you're talking about," Naruto replied, smiling blandly at the blond pureblood. "I don't have friends, anyone in this castle could tell you that."

Malfoy rolled his eyes. "_Uchiha__'s_ worried about you, Uzumaki-baka," he said, using Sasuke's nickname for Naruto.

"I just might die of shock if that's true."

"Idiot," Sasuke grunted. "Do you ever think before you open your mouth?"

"Everyone hates me already, what does it matter what I say?"

"Everyone doesn't hate you, Uzumaki," Malfoy said tiredly.

"Right. That's why we've had so many great times together."

"Don't get smart with Malfoy," Goyle said threateningly, cracking his knuckles.

"Shut up, Goyle," Malfoy snapped, making his subordinate/friend blink in surprise before lowering his hands. "Look, Uzumaki, the Hat didn't put you in Slytherin for no good reason," Malfoy began. "Did you listen to its song? Slytherin's best qualities are cunning and cleverness, and we don't let anything get in the way of our goals, least of all some stupid school rules. You've managed to pull off all these ridiculous pranks and you've only gotten detention once. If you didn't keep messing with us all the time, you'd be a great Slytherin."

"Well, that fills me with joy. Really, I was upset about not getting to be just like you people."

"Don't be such a jerk," Sasuke said.

Naruto laughed bitterly. "That's hilarious coming from you. You've got about as many friends as me."

"That's because I don't care."

"And you think I do?"

"Like it or not, Uzumaki, you're a Slytherin for the next two years," Malfoy pointed out. "Professor Snape told us on the very first night: Slytherins stick together. We may not all like each other, but the whole rest of the school is against us, so we have to work together." He sneered condescendingly at the foreigner. "Unless you want to spend the next two years sleeping out in the halls."

Naruto grinned right back at him. "You're just saying this because you're afraid of what I might do to you next." His grin intensified as Malfoy hesitated, unsure how to respond to that. "Just stay away from me. It shouldn't be too hard for you, right?" He strode forward, brushing past Malfoy and Sasuke, completely ignoring Crabbe and Goyle. He glanced at the Uchiha just before leaving the room. Sasuke looked frustrated, but to Naruto's surprise, that was it. He didn't seem angry, even as he and Naruto briefly locked eyes. Just upset that Naruto was walking away from them. Then the door separated them and Naruto was gone.

XXXXXXX

Three days later was a weekend. All the students, especially the first-years, were taking the free time to relax and goof off. Only the especially diligent students, like Hermione and Sakura, bothered doing their homework. But even they took a break to eat lunch in the afternoon with the rest of the school. So most of the people living in Hogwarts were in the Great Hall, happily eating the delicious food prepared by the house-elves. Snape arrived slightly late after grading papers and wasted no time in getting his food. He'd eaten half the plate before taking a large gulp of his pumpkin juice. A moment later, he nearly spat it out. He controlled himself though, drawing his wand hastily and managing to Vanish the liquid in his mouth.

"What the devil is in this?" He asked out loud, holding up the glass. Sprout and Kettleburn, who were seated nearest him, looked over in concern.

"Is it poisoned?" Sprout asked, looking at her own drink with a frown. At the word "poisoned," several other teachers took notice.

"It does not taste like poison," Snape said after a moment of contemplation. "In fact, it is somewhat familiar, but I must have tasted it quite some… time… ago…" His voice trailed off as he stared out over the Hall. At each of the four tables, one by one, students were rising up out of their seats. As in, they were _floating_ up off the benches. The people they'd been talking to just stared at their floating friends with their mouths hanging open.

Realization seemed to spread across the room suddenly as everyone started exclaiming in shock and horror. It only grew worse as the rest of the student body began floating up to the ceiling. In less than a minute, nearly a thousand students had risen up from the tables and were making good progress towards the ceiling. Snape had to struggle to keep a smirk off his face as he noticed several of his fellow teachers hurriedly performing nonverbal spells to weigh themselves down.

He looked down at the Slytherin table and was not at all surprised to see Naruto sitting there, quite distinctly not floating. In fact, he was one of around a dozen students not floating. Instead, he was laughing so hard that he almost fell off his seat. The sound was lost in the horrified cries of the other students. Although, now that some of the students were realizing they weren't actually in danger, they were also starting to laugh as they looked around the floating Hall. The few students who'd noticed something was wrong with the juice and stopped drinking also looked amused. Most were at the Ravenclaw table, a handful at Hufflepuff, the Weasley twins at Gryffindor, and only two other than Naruto at Slytherin. Snape would be having a talk with his students about being more careful what they drank.

"Really, this is a bit much," McGonagall said stiffly. "He is completely disrupting lunch."

"Oh, lighten up," Flitwick chided her. "At least this isn't disrupting class."

"It's irresponsible, and how exactly did he spike the entire Hall's drinks? What have those house-elves been doing?"

"Naruto seems like quite the stealthy child," Dumbledore remarked in a knowing tone. Snape wondered if the headmaster was aware of Naruto's recent sleeping arrangements. "And the house-elves would not expect such things from a student."

"That is because it shouldn't be done," McGonagall asserted.

"His pranks are starting to get a little out of hand," Dumbledore agreed. "But he only used Fizzy Lifting Drinks. I do not intend to punish him too harshly."

"How did he b-b-brew it in the f-first place?" Quirrell stammered.

"I would like to know that as well," Professor Vector said, turning to Snape. The Head of Slytherin House looked disdainfully back.

"If you are insinuating that I would waste time teaching a student how to brew a potion useful only for inane entertainment, then you are sorely mistaken as to what kind of man I am."

"Well how else would he learn?" McGonagall pressed.

"He is a Slytherin, he is quite capable of using other methods to acquire such knowledge. And he has a gift with potions. It's not even a complex mixture, just uncommonly taught."

"Luckily, the remedy is quite simple," Dumbledore said, watching the crowd of floating students, his eyes twinkling merrily.

"The remedy?" McGonagall asked. Snape fought not to roll his eyes. Had the old woman ever done something for fun when she was a child?

"Ah, they seem to have figured it out," Dumbledore said. Indeed, as Snape looked skyward, the students began to burp repeatedly, expelling the gas from the potion and slowly descending. McGonagall looked affronted as some of the students let out some rather obnoxious belches, especially the youngest Weasley boy. A loud thud drew Snape's attention back to Slytherin table. Naruto had fallen off his seat and was now literally rolling with laughter, completely undignified. Then again, given what they had to resort to in order to return to solid ground, most of the students were sacrificing some of their dignity.

It was just then that Snape was reminded of the one potential danger of the potion. As a Gryffindor boy unleashed a particularly loud and long belch that had McGonagall's nostrils flaring with suppressed anger, he released almost all the gas holding him aloft. At once, he plummeted over a hundred feet, hardly slowed at all, and crashed rather forcefully into the table, landing in a crumpled heap on the floor, several dishes scattered by the force of his collision.

Alarm spread like wildfire, and quite a few students clapped their hands over their mouths, either in horror or to prevent themselves from releasing too much gas at once. Snape was now leveling a glare at Uzumaki, who had noticed the incident, but looked at it with his usual amused grin. Most of the time, Snape was perfectly willing to let slide the actions of his students against those in other Houses. They had to be able to defend themselves from all the hateful accusations, after all. But this was different. This was far too public - right in front of Dumbledore for crying out loud! And worst of all, he'd gotten the Slytherins caught up in it as well.

A shriek followed by a crash was the sign of a second student falling too quickly, this time a Ravenclaw girl. This time, the teachers were galvanized to action, and Snape joined them. There were eleven teachers present, and in moments each one - even Quirrell - was carefully lowering students to the ground and holding them there until they'd released all of the gas. Only one more boy, this time from Slytherin, fell too suddenly for the teachers to catch him. The Hall was alive now, students frantically running to their injured Housemates, scrambling to make sure no one else was hurt, and yelling obscenities in the direction of the Slytherin table.

McGonagall and Flitwick took charge rapidly, sending out a Patronus to alert Madam Pomfrey and Conjuring stretchers to levitate the injured students onto. Within minutes of the first boy falling, all three victims of Uzumaki's prank were being hurried to the hospital wing.

Dumbledore stood up, looking extremely solemn as he stared down at the Hall. It took mere moments for the students to fall silent under that stern gaze. The broad grin slowly slipped off of Naruto's face.

"Mr. Uzumaki," Dumbledore began. "Please come with me." He walked away, his robes sweeping the ground behind him. Naruto glanced at Snape with some kind of hope in his eyes, as if Snape could save him, and flinched back from the disapproving scowl. The foreign boy scurried after Dumbledore, and Snape rose a moment later to follow the pair.

He honestly wondered if Dumbledore would expel the boy.


End file.
